One of the long-held myths about adoption has been that children become confused about the concept of having more than one set of parents. This became one of the rationales used to amend birth certificates identifying adoptive parents as birth parents once an adoption finalization has occurred in the United States, and to justify closed adoptions.
However, it is untrue that children can be confused about who their parents are, and it is untrue that children cannot love more than one set of parents. We don’t expect parents to be incapable of loving more than one child. And children whose parents divorce and re-marry often end up having more than one “mother” and “father” figure. The onus is on the parents and adults to be secure in their parenting role and to communicate well with children about the parental figures in their lives.
In California, a bill has been introduced by Senator Mark Leno (D) that would allow for more than two legal parents for a child. That bill, SB1476, does not change the definition of a parent, but it eliminates the requirement that a child may only have up to two parents.
According to the article in the Sacramento Bee, examples of three-parent relationships that could be affected by SB 1476 include:
• A family in which a man began dating a woman while she was pregnant, then raised that child with her for seven years. The youth also had a parental relationship with the biological father.
• A same-sex couple who asked a close male friend to help them conceive, then decided that all three would raise the child.
• A divorce in which a woman and her second husband were the legal parents of a child, but the biological father maintained close ties as well.
The law was created to expand the possibilities of caregivers for children without having to place children in foster care, the situation that occurred for one girl when her two mothers (in a same-sex relationship) were both unable to care for her and her biological father could not be deemed the legal father because of the law limiting the number of parents to two.
Leno’s website states:
This bill would reaffirm a family court judge’s ability to recognize parent-child relationships based on the evidence and what is in the best interests of the child. The bill modernizes state law by giving courts the flexibility to protect children who have parent-child relationships with more than two
As expected the legislation is opposed by many groups, including the Association of certified Family Law Specialists. The organization’s president stated in an interview that this law would “create confusion in the minds of children and in the legal system.”
For more information:
MSN: Bill would let children have more than 2 parents
Sacramento Bee: California bill would allow a chlid to have more than two parents
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