We often talk about the “adoption triad” and yet most of our attention is spent on the adopted child and the adoptive parent. There are few resources available for the birth parent who places the child for adoption and what needs they will have after the adoption is finalized. While pregnancy counseling is available through pregnancy centers and adoption agencies, what happens once the placement happens? How do birth parents – birth mothers – continue to get support for their healing from the grief and loss of placing a child for adoption?
One place where women who have placed a child for adoption can receive ongoing support is On Your Feet Foundation (OYFF), with locations in Chicago and California.
In an article for Adoptive Families, authors Diane Landino, Susan Dusza Guerra Leksander and Susan Romer write about life for a birth mother after placement and how OYFF help birth mothers receive ongoing support. The authors write:
Birth parents remain the most under-served members of the adoption community, with little access to meaningful services, pre- or post-placement. Much research has been conducted on the health and development of adopted persons, but little attention has been devoted to birth parents. Pre-placement counseling for expectant mothers has become more common in the last decade, with many domestic agencies requiring sessions and attorneys recommending it as best practice, yet women may not be aware of or ready to explore their complex emotions at that time. And while there is more recognition that placing a child is one of the most significant, painful, and traumatic life events a woman can experience, that understanding has not yet led to comprehensive development of post-placement supports and services. It is not uncommon for women to feel that, once they leave the hospital, they are left to fend for themselves.
OYFF hopes to dispel myths about birth mothers through education and outreach – why they place and what post-placement is like for these women. Services they provide include peer suport, counseling and mentoring and educational supports. They also offer birth mother retreats where women can be part of a supportive community.
To read the rest of the story in Adoptive Famliies click here. And as National Adoption Month comes up ahead and we think about the celebration of adoption, it is worthwhile to remember that the joy of adoption is borne from loss. While everyone is celebrating adoption, remember that for the birth family all the media and news about adoption may bring up feelings of sadness and grief.
Click here for the website for On Your Feet Foundation – Northern Californa.